Title : Billy’s Bones
Author : Jamie Fessendon
Publisher : Dreamspinner Press (BUY HERE)
Genre : M/M, Contemporary
Length : 254 pages (e-book)
Published : July 22, 2013
Rating : ★★★★★
Kevin Derocher was thirty-two when he walked into Tom’s office, newly married, a baby on the way, and the collar of his red flannel shirt pulled up to hide the bruises around his throat from when he hanged himself in his garage. After his initial consult, therapist Tom Langois believes he’ll never see Kevin again—but Kevin turns up three years later to make repairs on Tom’s new house.
Kevin and Tom become fast friends, and Tom begins to suspect Kevin may be interested in more than friendship. However, Kevin remains haunted by something from his childhood—something so terrible he blocked it from his mind. These suppressed memories make it impossible for Kevin to get close to anyone without panicking and lashing out, sometimes violently. But as his past begins to surface, it becomes apparent that Kevin may hold the key to a twenty-five-year-old mystery: what happened to Billy?
Warning: this story contains scenes which might be possible triggers for survivors of childhood abuse.
The author has this warning written at the beginning of the book and I thought to be fair, that I should put it in my review as well. This was one helluva story being told and I would not want anyone to think for one minute that they are getting a light and fluffy read. This is one of the most intense books I think I may have ever read, and at one point I even asked someone else here on LYLBTB to do it for me, because I was afraid to mess it up. This story was way out of my comfort zone. It’s dark. It’s painful. It was emotionally devastating to read. Now, with that being said, I have to say that it was by far the best book I have read this year alone.
Tom and Kevin first meet after Kevin tried to kill himself. He comes to Tom for counseling but Tom already knows after that first visit that Kevin will never come again, and he’s right. They don’t meet up again for three years. Tom just bought a house and there are many repairs to be made, but the one repair he wants done right away is the hot tub. He is given Kevin’s number from a repairman and, after some thought, he calls him to come and fix it.
After that first visit, Tom realizes that he actually likes Kevin and wants to spend time with him. After awhile he starts to notice that Kevin feels the same way. Kevin starts spending almost every day with Tom with those days soon turning into nights as well. There is only one problem, Tom is attracted to Kevin but he knows nothing can come of it because the other man is straight. Or so he thought. It doesn’t take long before Tom lets his feelings be known and Kevin really likes Tom as well, but when they kiss for the first time Kevin has a major panic attack. Those panic attacks start to come more often and Tom is unsure what to do about it.
Kevin has so many issues. Issues that need to be carefully looked into by a professional, but he refuses to be seen by anyone. Then one evening Kevin hurts himself and when Tom brings out the rubbing alcohol it triggers something inside of Kevin causing him to be thrown into a massive panic attack and lash out. From there, Kevin’s world is ripped apart. Everything he does seems to trigger a part of his memory. Memories that Kevin wishes would just stay away. Nightmares, songs on the radio, visiting his old home, rainstorms – it doesn’t matter what it is, it seems to trigger something inside Kevin and watching him go through those moments was completely heart breaking.
There was so much love between Tom and Kevin that I kept wishing over and over for things to be different for them. Tom is everything to Kevin and without his help and the love of a gorgeous puppy named Shadow, I am truly not sure if Kevin would not have tried to kill himself again.
What was worst for me to read was when Kevin had his big therapy break through and we got to see everything from his POV. My head and heart were at an emotional level that I am not used to while reading a book. I guess when looking at that from an author’s POV, that is a great thing. That means his/her story has had the affect it was meant to and I will be the first to say that this book has affected me. There was not a moment today that I didn’t think about this story. Not since I finished reading that very last page. And I can guarantee it will be a long time before it fades from my mind.
Brilliant.. Gripping.. Suspenseful.. Emotional.. Page turner.. Go. Buy the book.
Rated 5 stars by Jen