HAHAT : The Power of a Word
We, at LYLBTB, are delighted to be part of the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (May 17th) and BookSmitten was delighted to front it 😀 So a BIG thanks to her for doing this – I am sure you will agree that her post is very thought provoking; in the words of Macklemore, in his wonderful song Same Love :
….. Have you read the YouTube comments lately?
“Man, that’s gay” gets dropped on the daily
We become so numb to what we’re saying…..and on that note, over to BookSmitten.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.
A well known childhood rhyme, but it isn’t really true, is it? Names, and words, can have an enormous amount of power to hurt when used to belittle, shame, disrespect and with the intent to insult. In Australia, the five major sporting codes recently stepped up and signed an agreement to stamp out discrimination and the use of homophobic language within their sports. Several days after this, a young football player was heard flinging the slur “f***ing gay c***” at an opponent on the field during a televised game. In response to the incident, NRL chief executive Dave Smith stated, “There is no place for any form of discrimination in our game. Rugby League is a game for everyone and we will not tolerate slurs based on gender, race, sexuality or any other matter. The NRL is determined to stamp out discrimination in our game. This matter will be investigated fully and, if any player has vilified an opponent, appropriate action will be taken.” The governing body backed up their pledge and issued a two-match suspension to the player in question.
Of course, the fairness of the suspension was debated in the media. But it’s only when columnist Miranda Devine, in her article titled “NRL bosses are totally gay”, chose to take issue with the way the word ‘gay’ was used, that the power of words, and how they are used, really became a bone of contention. You see, she asserted that the player didn’t really mean it as a homophobic slur because the other player isn’t even gay – what more evidence was needed? (Although I’m not entirely sure how she would even know if he was or wasn’t). She went on to insist that “No one owns a word” and “It is just tyrannical to demand that people must use a word only in the form approved by homosexual activists.” But it’s where she declares, “Let’s get one thing straight. “Gay” no longer just means “homosexual”. The word has changed meaning over the last decade. Young people use “gay” to mean lame, or dumb or stupid, as in: “That’s so gay.”” that she really misses the point of how words can be used to make people feel ‘less than’.
Can it truly be surprising that a young, gay person is likely to equate being gay as being lame, or dumb, or stupid, or less than non-gay people when that is what they are constantly hearing? When they are subjected to ridicule and attack? When a large part of who they are is being used as a way to insult others? How can this not have a detrimental effect on the way they view themselves? What I found particularly sad is that as a woman, Ms Devine should have had enough experience of her gender being used as slurs and insults to understand at least a little what power words can have on a victimised group of society. Things like “you play like a girl”, “drama queen”, “the weaker sex” and the names for several female body parts are all familiar, common phrases/words used to be insulting to boys and men. They are so commonplace that we hardly even bat an eye at their use. But let’s not kid ourselves, the attitudes that have caused them to become so ingrained do still have an effect on the way women and girls view themselves. A lack of self-worth is often a battle a woman will fight her whole life to some degree or other. I really don’t want to see that happen to another group in society. The GLBTI community have enough to deal with that is directly aimed at them without adding this sideways chipping at self-worth as well. There are more than enough slurs and vitriol thrown at them for simply being who they are that society should be ashamed for.
Youth advocate John Caldwell penned a heartfelt and eloquent open letter to Miranda Devine in response to her article where he writes :
“Have you in anyway been associated with the vast number of homosexual young people who feel the only way out is to take their own lives because society deems them wrong for being gay? Please tell me, Miranda, what is suitable punishment for legitimising language that incites hate against a minority group?…When I walk down the street next time and someone sneers and mutters “gay” or “fag” – which I won’t have to wait long for – I shall think of you and how your opinion affects the lives of so many. Heaven help you should you ever have a child who turns out to be gay and you have to join them on the journey of pain and heartache they will suffer for something so out of their control.”
Words do have power. Let’s use them to build others up, instead of kicking them down.
Up for grabs is any e-book from those we have reviewed and deemed to be KAPOWorthy!! Check out the list HERE. All you need to do is comment, to be included in the draw. The winner will be chosen randomly via that tried and true method of “draw a name out of the hat” 😛 The contest ends on May 27th, and the winner will be announced shortly thereafter.
Thanks for stopping by, and for commenting! Good Luck with the GiVeAwAy – and be sure to follow the rest of the hop HERE.
And having opened with a mention of Macklemore, I thought it was right to end with him – just LOVE this song so much!
It always amazes me the different view points we read each year in this tour. This was a very good article. As the mother of a teenage boy who uses this and other derogatory phrases, I am always pointing out either the impact his words have, alternatives, the fact that some of his classmates will come out at some point, and that actually being gay people are stronger than the name callers for handling such comments or eloquently rebut them as John Caldwell did.
LikeLike
Thank you, Suze. All we can do is try and point out the harm something said so flippantly can do to others and hope that they go away and think about what that means and modify their behaviour.
LikeLike
I hear kids use it – and I hate it!!! My girls are as open minded as they could ever be – yet I have heard both of them use the word “gay” in a derogatory way – they always apologise to me; I always remind them about how much I HATE them talking like that. Hopefully one day it will stick.
LikeLike
it is definitely overused and extremely derogatory
LikeLike
My sister started using it when she hit high school because all her friends were. Thankfully she’s a bit of a leader (or at least, she isn’t a follower) and when I pulled her up every time I heard using it and explained why it was so wrong, she did stop using it, and so her friends ended up following suit.
LikeLike
I have a friend who tried to kill himself when he was in high school. Everyday he heard ‘that’s so gay’. It followed him around. The way he walked, the way he talked, the way he dressed, everytime he spoke out, he was met with a sneering ‘that’s so gay’. Any wonder he tried killing himself when his entire existance was an insult. He’s good now; a succesful business owner, an advocate and spokesperson for at risk LGBT youth groups and an all around good guy. That journalist is a fool – as a writer she more than most ought to know words can destroy. And heal.
LikeLike
I am so glad your friend’s attempt was unsuccessful and he has gone on to become happy and an advocate for others. I sincerely hope that someone has a quiet word with that columnist privately, when she may actually be more receptive to what they’re saying instead of blindly defending an indefensible stance. If she does end up seeing what others have tried to point out to her, I also hope she has the guys to publicly state that and try and undoe some of the damage her words have done.
LikeLike
Your blog post is well written and very thought provoking.
LikeLike
Thank you, Hannah 🙂
LikeLike
yay Hannah!!! You are the lucky winner!!! email me via the link on the right and tell me which book you want, that we have reviewed and deemed KAPOW-worthy. The link to the list is on the post above 🙂
LikeLike
Great post. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area so it is very liberal here. Sometimes I read a book and roll my eyes at the over the top hatred and then I remember where I live and think I am probably just very sheltered against the realities in other parts of the country.
LikeLike
I think my jaw actually dropped reading about that article…thank you for reminding us how far society still has to go!
LikeLike
Thank you for the wonderful post. I have to admit I use to use the word until I had a awkward moment with a friend who was bisexual (this was a very long time ago). She wasn’t offended and actually had a good laugh when I tried to correct myself and apologize for spouting it out. I had to point this out though, that the power of words can only hurt an individual if they allow it to.
There have been times when I’ve read a book (both m/m and m/f) and it feels as if an author has kind of bled some of their own thoughts into their characters. I’ve been hurt and madden by those thoughts and words but in the end I knew it was only getting a rise out of me because I was allowing it to. I’m not saying that using derogatory terms is okay because it’s not. It does take time to rid a persons vocabulary of words they never thought much of and actually are hurtful to others.
LikeLike
That’s true to an extent H.B., but children and teenagers don’t really have the capacity or experience to know how to stop those words from directly impacting them. You get told as a child enough that you are unworthy it’s very difficult, even as an adult, to overcome that belief that has been ingrained into you. It’s possible, but wouldn’t it be better not to have to?
LikeLike
Of course, but our society isn’t perfect and I don’t believe that it will be any time soon. The best thing we can do is try to fortify children and teenagers against such cruelty. Education is paramount and support is very important.
LikeLike
Thank you for the fantastic post about the power of words and how we use them. I see this in my own kids’ lives. We have tried to raise them with as little gender bias as possible, letting them find their own identities. But when my son started school and the other boys told him certain things were “like a girl” he stopped doing them, at least with his peers. I try to combat that attitude, but it is difficult.
jlf827 {at} icloud {dot} com
LikeLike
This is such an awesome Blog Hop – so many stories to tell and messages to share. Thank you for your heartfelt words – we have come so far in the last few years but have so much farther yet to go.
lgrant1@san.rr.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great post & blog hop.
rockybatt@gmail.com
LikeLike
Great post! Some people really need to stop and think before they speak. Words can hurt.
Thanks for the giveaway!
lkbherring64(at)gmail(dot)com
LikeLike
Thanks for such a great post. This is an amazing hop!
LikeLike
Great post. Thank you for the giveaway.
marsh10@netzero.com
LikeLike
Pingback: Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia | ScuttlebuttReviews
Thanks for the awesome blog post. I liked the video too.
LikeLike
Thanks for such a great post. This is an amazing hop!
parisfan_ca@yahoo.com
LikeLike
Thanks for your blog post and being part of the hop.
LikeLike
Well said and a great piece. I disagree, though, that someone should know better “as a woman.” LGBT activists should know better than to use sexist and racist language, but it happens all the time. Don’t get me wrong–I completely agree with your point. I just think that none of us, no matter what discrimination we’ve faced, can escape the human tendency to discriminate in turn. Look at the way lesbians are marginalized by gays, for example, or the way transgender and bi are marginalized by both. It’s all complicated. I hope, though, that things will change.
LikeLike
it always amazes me how those that seek acceptance can often be so exclusive themselves 😦 (for “amazes” read “pisses me off!”!)
LikeLike
Thanks for the great post and hop.
LikeLike
wonderful, thank you
LikeLike
The post and the video are very inspiring. Thanks for sharing. lena.grey.iam@gmail.com
LikeLike
One of the main things I have learned from being involved with the M/M community and the LGBT community is the importance of words and the need to be mindful of what is said.
LikeLike
Thanks for taking part in the hop!
kimberlyFDR@yahoo.com
LikeLike
Thanks for post and hop.
LikeLike
Thanks for being a part of the hop!
raynman1979 at yahoo dot com
LikeLike
I enjoyed reading about BookSmitten’s insights into the power of a word. I hadn’t read Miranda Devine’s article. Yikes! We all need to be more mindful of what is said. Practice makes perfect…
Thanks for taking part in the hop! Have a great weekend!
skeeterlee63 @ gmail.com
LikeLike
Yes names can really hurt you. Thanks for the great post.
sstrode at scrtc dot com
LikeLike
Thank you for participating and sharing your story.
OceanAkers @ aol.com
LikeLike
Pingback: HAHAT : and the winner is …. | Live Your Life, Buy The Book